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Our close companions for more than 20 years, who has faced and conquered many hardships, and I respect her for that. However, she's repeatedly blindsided by people. Her spouse left her, which came as an unexpected event. Many of close acquaintances disappeared at that point, since they had been drawn to the spouse. She was stunned by her deeply. She made greater energy in our friendship, probably realised more clearly the essence of true friendship.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

Throughout this period, quite a few in her circle have drifted apart and she isn't sure why. The company she worked for turned on her, although she had been highly competent, she departed not understanding the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Recently, both of us stepped back from work so we're spending frequent meetups, however, I feel my role between us feels one-sided. I start subjects and she changes them to what interests her. Regarding political views, she expresses strong opinions. My effort is to recommend verifying facts and different perspectives.

She's been planning a trip to a nation I've visited repeatedly even called home for some time. I attempted to provide advice, however, my input met with resistance. She essentially only wanted me to confirm her choices. I have come back from 30 days there and she wants to catch up, however, I hesitate.

Considering the Choices

I hesitate to act as a friend who cuts and runs without a word, however, I feel she will ever comprehend the impact of her behaviour on my self-esteem. At this point, I find myself in distancing myself. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

You could cut and run, yet this is not often a smooth outcome that we desire. Yet having a direct talk aiming for working things out takes courage and willingness on both your parts.

Experts suggest applying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step involves describing what typically happens when you talk. Aim for this to be objective and clear and essentially what a recording device would replay. Next is to express how this makes you feel. There should be no argument here. What you feel are your feelings, after all. Finally is to question how the two of you will alter the pattern of your friendship."

Remember your friend holds perspectives, meaning you must to stay open to listen to her. An approach that works involves stating your friend:

"Please share your thoughts while I will not say anything for a set time."

This can be impactful to encourage better communication.

Closing Considerations

This person could ignore everything, as some people cling to a “survival narrative”: they have a version regarding their experiences they're unable to release because their very survival is tied to it and it's all they trust. This is difficult when there seems no clear path in such cases, only cul-de-sacs. Yet she could at first react defensively then consider about what you've said. If a resolution isn't found a fix, you'll have satisfaction from having been honest with her.